I spend a lot of time alone.
I shower in the dark because it helps me to connect with my body.
I dance in the lounge room to silence when everyone else has gone to bed. It helps to release all the icky jujus.
I’m naturally an introvert, but if you know me well I’m a clown, loud, swear too much and love a good banter.
I’m a bloody good listener.
And sometimes give too much advice.
I like telling people what to do because my ego believes it knows better sometimes.
I feel energy and respond to vibes over appearance and words. You can’t fool me…even if I let you think you have.
I don’t care for societal constructs that dictate how I should spend my time.
Work full time for someone else? No thanks.
I’d rather be poor and happy than sell my time for a cost directed by someone else and feel miserable.
I am opinionated but highly sensitive.
This year has taught me that having a voice is really fucking important and no longer will I keep my mouth shut to conform to your requests in fear of rejection. I’ve decided to let go of that old chestnut.
I had a deep seeded fear of rejection that triggers me to do things I don’t mean when I feel like someone’s walking away.
I found freedom from this just recently.
I can’t save everyone.
I’m the glue, and choosing not to be means the foundations crumble. But I know that’s not my responsibility.
I’m compassionate and considerate.
But I won’t be walked over.
I have apologies to make and relationships to rebuild.
I have words to write that will help me process and heal from wounds I never thought I’d bleed from.
I’m not interested in surface level conversations or relationships.
Let’s get deep and dirty. That’s where all the good stuff is.
I’m ready for a love that supersedes my own perceived ideas about what love is.
I’m longing for a connection with someone that can hold me, my values, my heart and my daughter without reservation. And I feel like he’s not too far away.
I’ve forgiven myself for the mistakes I’ve made and sent love notes of gratitude to them, because they helped me grow.
I’ve forgiven those that have hurt me most, because I know they were hurting too.
I have spiritual ego at times, but I’m super aware and keeping it in check.
I know that moments of pure joy are just as temporary as pure suffering. And I’m finding a wicked balance of contentment around these polarities.
I love you fiercely and care greatly. I’ll have your back no matter what.
I need less phone time, and more nature. We all do, you know?
I’ve left best friends behind and I’m ok with that.
I was an ocean lover through and through but I feel the call to the rainforest. Funny how we change.
The right people always find their way to me when I need them and I never need to worry about how.
I trust intrinsically that the Universe has my heart in its hands.
I am deeply guided by so many lights in this world, Mackenzie the brightest of all.
I love my family more than anything, even though all of our flaws surfaced this year and ripped our hearts to shreds. The healing will happen in good time. This I know without doubt.
I know my writing touches others and showing up the way I do is impacting on people’s lives - your messages tell me this. What a blessing.
I share my musings not for gratification, but because I know this is part of my purpose and it makes a difference.
I am more in sync with my body then ever before, and value the health I have. It’s a goddamn privilege and I bow to my body for its wellbeing.
I am powerful beyond measure and continue to unlock my potential. I’ve done some crazy unexplainable things. I might share some of that one day.
I know none of this matters because we’re just a moment in time.
But I’ll keep peeling back the layers, one by one, and keep an open eye on the meaning behind it all.
I’m grateful, more than anything. And I’m bloody excited for life, even when it’s seems really mundane.
And it’s been that way this year. But I feel a stirring in the air ... and more magic awaits me.